How rational is love? It’s not. It’s suprising to see this has actually been a topic for debate, for example, shown back in 1986 in this NYT article: Psychologists pursue the irrational aspects of love.

If love was rational, it would be selfish (to maximize self interest), as researchers tried to explain through the human exchange theory:  the postulate that human relationships are based mainly on self-interest, to explain what goes on between men and women as they meet, pair off and become couples.

Much of this research has shown, for example, that people calibrate their social, physical and other assets against a potential partner’s; the closer the match, the more likely they will become a pair. Exchange theory is able to predict, more or less, the stability of a couple based on the way each partner feels he or she compares to the other.

The simple truth is that love cannot be reduced to a theory or formula and “It’s absurd to reduce love to selfishness.”

“I wondered what had become of the ecstasies and verities described in the poetry of love. The poets don’t speak in terms of selfish advantages, of love as a means-ends relationship, but about an altruistic, undying devotion.” Dr. McClelland said to the NYT.

This is my love, as written many years ago:

Vir Suné

  1. My liefde is ‘n lelie
  2. God se meesterskeppingswerk
  3. Skoonheid straal vanuit jou fleur
  4. Hoe onweerstaanbaar is jou geur?
  5. Kom wind, kom weer: my lelie is sterk
  6. Sy is gewortel in God se kerk
  1. My lelie is Suné
  2. Die mooiste blom het ek gekry
  3. Jou oë soos sonlig op môredou
  4. Ag, kan ek tog net met jou trou?
  5. Met jou in my hart
  6. Is daar geen plek vir smart
  1. My liefde is Suné
  2. ‘n Beter vrou kon ek nie kry.


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